The Adventures of Elf and Leprechaun: Joy and Joyrides – Part 3

There was panic in the Moody Mum’s household today as N decided he wanted to wear his yellow Pokemon undies and ONLY his yellow Pokemon undies.

NOT the white Pokemon undies with yellow Pikachu front and centre and definitely, absolutely NOT the blue undies with yellow Pikachu plastered all over them. Don’t be silly, mummy! When I dared suggest he just choose any old pair of Pokemon undies BUT wear his YELLOW Pokemon socks, he didn’t even need to give me the withering look because HA! I already knew that was ridiculous.

This catastrophe kept us occupied for far too long considering it was me who moves this stinking duo around and it was ME who chose a certain pair of undies as Leprechaun’s hammock (btw thank you other internet parents for posting last minute EOTS ideas for those of us who leave moving the dastardly things around until that moment when it’s really late and you’re really tired and you can’t believe this is what adulthood looks like and no one warned you and you HATE that bloody elf! So yes, thank you. I’ll throw a few links here for other such parents).

SO, Elf and Leprechaun… (oh and I realised today I WAS supposed to name the elf – apparently it NEEDS a name to receive its Christmas magic. Guys, I can’t ok? Christmas magic? Nope. I just can’t. I can’t retrofit another lie into Christmas this year. Its name is Elf, and the other one is Leprechaun. There. Named.) …

SO, Elf and Leprechaun spent a wonderful night in their new Christmas Tree HQ, snuggled into the undie hammocks they had scrounged from the pile of clean washing that lived on the sofa (unaware their choice of undies would create such future drama). They awoke refreshed and keen to explore their new domain. And explore they did!

The first thing Elf noticed from his undie hammock was ANOTHER tree! Yes, there on the far wall. A quick scramble down Christmas Tree HQ, a quick stop for a quick of game of hide and seek under Christmas Tree HQ, a not-so-quick shimmy up the wall to the wall tree and there they were at a whole new Christmas Tree.

But uh oh! This was unlike their beloved tree, this one was…

a trap!! …

Elf promptly got his elfie-gloved hand stuck on the small, barely visible patches of stickiness, otherwise known as velcro. He hung around there for a while, much to the mirth of Leprechaun who had made it all the way to the top and was feeling smug about it.

After freeing himself with great difficulty and hilarity (but only for those watching), Elf and Leprechaun decided to let someone else take the reins for a while and caught the local Christmas Express.

It was during this journey that Elf saw a brilliant opportunity for some Christmas fun. He combined his love of toilet papering trees and his love of toilet paper in general and he and Leprechaun made a TP Snowman (WARNING: Your child WILL love this. They will then want to make their own TP Snowman. If you, like me don’t have another 6 roles – yes SIX because mistakes will be made, and tears will be shed if there aren’t backups – then you WILL regret it).

After their busy morning, they started to feel the pangs of sugar cravings, so Elf and Leprechaun looked around for something to eat, and it was then they spied the perfect sugary cereal snack. But of course, Elf and Leprechaun wouldn’t just get a bowl and a spoon, oh no! Those two took eating cereal to a whole new level.

And after ingesting the colours, flavours, unpronounceable additives and sugars (though 30% less sugar so obviously I’m mum of the year), their adventures took a turn for the naughty, for Elf saw a figure in the distance and an idea popped into his head. Sneaking and giggling, the two tip-toed up to mini-Santa and stole, yes STOLE his very sled and team of reindeers (who they had previously met because those very same reindeer had helped in the great escape over the Minefield of Tiny Pain).

They spent a few wonderful and thrilling hours sledding the snow and riding the reindeers until Santa caught up with them, and they had to beat a hasty retreat on a (rather poorly constructed) zipline to their Christmas Tree HQ, where they disguised themselves behind masks of chocolate emoticon lollipops. Genius!