Elf Meets Leprechaun
This little guy has been sitting at the top of my Christmas tree for about 4 years, from when my son was 2 or so.
I swear on my last sliver of sanity, that I had NO intention of ever allowing an elf on the shelf situation to develop in MY house. It turns out, however, that my son has different ideas and honestly, he just needs to half bat an eye in my general direction and mutter something frankly unreasonable and I will see the sense in the nonsense and utterly capitulate. So here we are and here I am moving an elf around my house daily. And shutup, but I’m actually enjoying myself!
Let me catch you up on the elf’s (do I need to name him?) adventures so far…
It’s a tale of a solitary elf sent down from his wintery home all the way to hot, muggy Queensland with nothing but the climatically inappropriate clothes on his back. No suitcase, no swimsuit, no change of underwear.
And so he appeared one day to spy on a boy (who, by the way, decided last Christmas that actually he WOULD like to believe in Santa Clause thank you very much, which is just FINE by me, and excuse me for not wanting to lie to my child and also sorrreee but no one ever told me that my child might WANT to be lied to! So here we are, retro-fitting a magical lie into the life of my son, who seems to be enjoying himself immensely, but who also occasionally whispers to me, “but mummy, is Santa actually real?” And oh my GOD, I don’t know what he wants anymore! So, I pat his head and whisper back, “what do YOU believe?” This seems to confuse him, but same kid, same.
Back to the elf…
The elf started simple; he went fishing, he handed out sugar, he hung around in a stocking, you know just getting the lay of the land.
Then one fateful night, the elf witnessed the horrible sight of a child stuffing a hapless leprechaun into a tin and LOCKING HIM UP, because “leprechauns can be VERY mischievous, you know mummy and you NEED to lock them up.” Well obviously. And also his uncle and aunt who were recently visiting from Ireland had just given him that gift, and his uncle had spun many tales of naughty leprechauns. (And not to toss my brother onto the fire here, but while he was visiting, he also left behind this legacy: Are you scared? YES! Then just do it scared! So yeah, that’s going to be a fun parenting journey for me.)
Back to the elf…
That night, the elf crept up to the Great White Shelf lit by the demonic Unicorn of Doom and guarded by Ancient Stone Wall Warriors.
There he had to face the Screaming Hair Monster! Legend says the Screaming Hair Monster can only be defeated by getting close enough to pull her strands of rubbery disgusting hair.
So, the elf edged ever closer – the smell was horrendous – he stretched out one elfy-gloved hand and his fingers just managed to tickle a waving tentacle of hair, causing the Screaming Hair Monster to let out a startled burp, a small fart AND a sneeze, sending green boogas flying in all directions. But the wily little elf was not going to be undone by some boogas and smelliness, no! He clung to the disgusting hair, wrapped his skinny legs around the monster and YANKED the strands with all his might. SCREEEEEEAAAAAAAAM!!!!
Victory!
The elf grabbed the key from her horrible locks, and unlocked the tin. But the scream had awakened the Ancient Stone Wall Warriors and had angered the demonic Unicorn of Doom, so the elf had no time to free the leprechaun and just grabbed the tin and ran.
After an unplanned tumble and with great joy, the elf finally freed the leprechaun from his aluminium prison.
They had a quick hug, and then together made a brave escape down Snake Ladder, across the Minefield of Tiny Pain, past the Hot Wheels Mega City, and up the Red Cliffs of Gift Wrapping, before finally floating to freedom in their hot air balloons.
That night a beautiful and mutually mischievous friendship was born.
To be continued…
What a fun story of mischievousness. The Elf has been around for some time but to befriend a Leprechaun and begin a journey together, doubles the trouble. Look forward to the next episode.